Hospice Department
Coping with the
Holidays
The holiday
season can be one of the most difficult times for people who have experienced
the death of a loved one. Instead of a time of joy, family togetherness, gift
giving and thankfulness, there can be a renewed sense of grief during the
holidays, resulting in feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness.
Although
there are no simple guidelines that will take away such feelings, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition
in Fort Collins, Colorado, offers the following suggestions for making life
more tolerable:
Talking About Your
Grief
Ignoring
your grief won’t make the pain go away. By talking about it openly with caring
friends and relatives, you will help yourself heal.
Be Tolerant of Your
Physical/Psychological Limits
Feelings of
loss may decrease your energy level. Respect what your body and mind are
telling you. Try to lower your expectations about being at your peak during the
holiday season.
Eliminate Unnecessary
Stress
Don’t
over-extend yourself. Try not to isolate yourself, but be sure to allow time
for yourself.
Be with Supportive,
Comforting People
Identify
friends and relatives who will allow you to express your feelings – both happy
and sad. Include the name of the person who has died in your conversation.
Plan Ahead for
Family Gatherings and Do What is Right for You During
the Holidays
Decide what
family traditions you would like to continue, and the new ones you would like
to begin, following the death of someone you loved. Structure your holiday time
and focus on what you personally want to do, rather than going along with the
plans of well-meaning friends and family.
Embrace Your
Treasury of Memories
Memories
are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. Share
them with family and friends, instead of ignoring them. If your memories bring
laughter, smile. If you memories bring sadness, it’s all right to cry.
Express Your Faith
During the
holidays, you may a find a renewed sense of faith or discover a new set of
beliefs. If your faith is important, you may want to attend a holiday service.
Love Yourself
Be patient
with yourself. And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving, caring people.
Consider Changing
the Focus of Your
The time you open packages, or the time of the holiday meal.
Buy Tickets to the
Ballet or Theater
One for yourself and one more as a special Christmas gift from you to a
friend.
Start a New
Tradition
As simple
as discarding an old recipe and trying a new one, a different entrée at your
holiday meal, volunteering before/after the holiday season – whatever you can
comfortably do.
Filename: copingwithholidays
Rev. 11/00
